New Year's Eve

Although my dad didn't pass away on New Years Eve, I always tell others not to be selfish and drink and drive. It's not easy wishing your father/mother was around. It's not easy wondering if they had a moment of regret before they passed. Don't leave your children with the pain of losing a parent.

The other way; don't leave this world leaving your parents with the heartache of losing their child to drinking and driving. It doesn't feel good to suffer such a loss.

As we come to the end of 2009 and Mike leaves only days later; I'm still finding myself looking forward to it all. There's a lot of growth that will happen. A lot of relationships will be built and become stronger. More so my relationship with Christ. I have never believed in New Year's resolutions; I feel it's a set up for failure. I do however truly believe that my gift will shine this coming year.

I really do look forward to 2010! Lord use me in ways that will keep my light burning. I'm waiting...I love you oh Lord God Almighty.

3 days left..

Maybe I'm having a moment of thoughtfulness. I know what I'd like to say but can't exactly put it into words. Perhaps if i continue to write it will come out.

Mike leaves soon.. This will only make the umphteen time that I have been through a deployment. I shouldn't nervous after all he's only going to Afghanistan for 9 months. That's what they say anyway. He's a attaching to a unit with the Army. Those deployments seem to last a year to 18 months. Humm, maybe this is what God has for us. I'll be fine; I've made some great friends, the clinic family, friends throughout the years of serving, my church family, and most importantly, my Lord and children. Yeah I think I'll be okay. There are plenty of people praying for us. So yeah the kids and I will fine. I think 2010 will come with many blessings....

It's Christmas Day!

I'm not sure what to say on this beautiful day. I'm just happy to be sharing the birth of Jesus Christ with my family! We are wishing all of our wonderful readers a Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas:

1) a babe
2) our Savior
3) Jesus
4) the ultimate gift to us
5) his birth

I believe this is the best gift that we could ever receive. If you see it too; take a knee and pray.

Lord; how you have given so much to us. How amazing are you. I love you father...

Teens and youth Challenge.

For my sanity; I have given my Sunday school class a challenge. It is to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ through all the trails that we may endure this week. We must learn to trust in him when the waves are high and when the seas are calm. I look forward to sharing my story next Sunday. I must let my light shine bright!

Mark 4:35-41

Wait a minute! I think it's Pastor Rogers writing!!!

Moving again??? You're kidding me right?!

That's been the question of the week. Yes it's true. We have moved from the travel trailer into a 3 bedroom 2 bath. It must have been what the Lord wanted for us. As you may have read before; my husband picked up rank, is deploying in less than a month; and who knows what else is in store for us. And because of those 2 main reasons we decided to move into a house. As word was coming in about Mike; one of our dearest friends bought land and wouldn't buy it if we didn't move in one of the homes. We didn't hesitate and quickly moved in 2 weeks later. Mike said it was the right thing to do.

We found out he will be deploying with the Army; which means there is a very good possibly he will be gone a year VS. 8 months. I have been married into the military for 14 years. Believe me when I say I am accustomed to deployments. I think we'll be just fine.

On a good note, we have an awesome church, co-op, and clinic family! I highly doubt we'll be hurting for something. In the very end we'll get to welcomed my husband home and appreciate him just a little more. That tends to happen every time he comes home.

Next thing is, you must be waiting for pictures of the new house. You'll get some, just not in the next 2 days. I want to make sure the house is all set before I do so. I will also be getting back on track with my trip to Mexico. We love you all! I hope you're enjoying you visit into our lives. BTW, who is the anonymous guest that wrote on my last mini story?

Who's reading?

I chose this title because I was a bit shocked to learn that a young male adult was reading my blog. It isn't because he's male that I was surprised. Perhaps it's because he said he has read almost every one of them I've put up. Actually I'm pretty shocked I've kept his interest thus far. Who'd a thought it would be him reading it?!

Since it was brought to my attention last night, it made me wonder who really is getting a sneak at my ever so boring life. After all I'm a terrible writer; my grammar really, really sucks, and I can't spell to save my life!! May I ask one favor of all my readers? Can you write your nick/name if you're a reader (at any given time)? I'm interested in how many have taken time out of their day to take a trip around my ever so empty head!

God bless you all!

It's all so bitter sweet..

Hello everyone!

My husband and I are thrilled to announce that he has been promoted! Mike scored so high on his exam that we will be seeing it in our income next payday! I am very proud of him and all his accomplishments. I must say, boy did our family sacrifice the time for this. It all paid off!

The other news. He has received hard cut orders and has been told that he start to get everything in order as of yesterday. Mike will be deploying to Afghanistan from Jan-Sept. We were told that he will be put in the safest zone possible. I was thrilled to hear that! I still know that either way there is a risk.

I only ask that everyone pray for a hedge of protection for my husband. The kids and I feel that the Lord has plans and it is out of our control. We are faithful and whatever is sent our way we can handle. Perhaps my husband is going to plant a seed in these people. Who knows. But what I do know is that all will be well because our God is a good God!

In the meantime; we will remain in Milton. This weekend we will be moving into a 3bd 2 bath off Avalon. He felt safer having us in a home. Thank you all for the upcoming prayers!

I'm getting too old to stay up late!

I realized the next day that going to bed late and waking up super early was killing me. I’m no teenager so what in the world was I thinking?! We woke up some coffee talked for awhile. Every time I would talk to my grandfather he would say how much I looked like my dad. Oh and when I scolded him he insisted I was my father. My dad was a good man. I often wonder what possessed him to drink and drive the night he died.

On this day; Tia Petra, Tia Erika, and myself talked about going to see my grandma Celestina’s gravesite. All hands said I and we looked forward to going that way. I believe my grandfather didn’t care for the idea too much. I wonder why? I could actually have the answer later on or maybe not. I guess we’ll have to wait for the conclusion. We all got dressed for the day and off to the streets we went. I may not put this in good order but I’ll try my best.

We stopped at this lady’s house that I don’t remember her name, or the relationship she had with my family. I do know that my aunt did remember who she was. During that moment I had an overwhelming feeling. Whatever the reason; I felt that in that town was my heart. It wasn’t the prettiest of town’s by my heart was drawn close to it. This lady (I can NOT remember her name….AHHHHHH!!) began to drive us to the next person’s house.

I’m posting a picture of this older woman. We arrived at her house and boy did I want to cry. I had no idea why. We walked in her home. Sorry I’m nosey so I had to look around. Her home with filled with God’s love. She had scriptures on her walls, gorgeous crosses; the home was defiantly anointed with the Holy Spirit. As the introduction took place, she found out that I was Chuy’s daughter (they called my dad Chuy). She would stare at me when she thought I wasn’t looking.

A bit later my grandfather asked me to sit down. He told me that she and her husband where the one’s to marry my grandpa and grandmother (Celestina). I was like WHOA! WAIT! I have questions!!! Stop here. She gave us an image of the day they were married. She went on to say how happy my grandma was that day. She was tall; about 5’7 tall. Light skinned with silky long, almost blonde hair. She was thin but kinda thick. I sat there as she spoke and waited for my grandfathers’ reaction.
He remained quiet while she spoke. Abuelito (grandpa) Pancho sat there and played with his coffee cup never once looking up at us. At times he seemed to ignore us and other times he seemed angry that I would ask yet another question.

Anyway, this lady had the softest voice, making it difficult at times to hear her. With every sentence she spoke, she’d sit there silently. My Tia Petra and I wondered if my grandmother was saved. I made my aunt ask the question. Well we didn’t get a for certain answer. Her, nor my grandfather really knew if my grandmother had ever expected Christ as her personal savior. It made us wonder even more after all she named her children; Jesus Manuel, Petra (meaning Rock of Salvation), Juan Bautista. Who, if they were not saved, would name their kids that? We asked that question and again no one had the answer. I had moments where I felt the need to cry, because I was finally getting to know the woman that my father and his siblings never had the chance to learn about. I didn’t want to leave there. It felt good. I was so overwhelmed with grief that I decided it was time to stop asking questions. You’ll learn more about my grandma later, you’ll see!

I decided I was fed up with sitting down so I stood for awhile. This woman kept staring at me. It wasn’t a freaky type of stare but it did make me wonder what was going through her head. Somehow the topic came up and my grandpa told her that 34 years ago my dad found God. She has the gentlest smile I had seen. Tia Petra quickly mentioned that she and I were also saved.

I just lost train of thought. I think we’ll stop here and start later on. Plus I don’t want to have confusion with the pictures. The picture above is the woman who married my grandparents. Once again stay tuned…

The night he saw me!

As that day came to an end; we each wondered if my grandfather would show up. Although we never truly got the answer, we decided to head south. You know like the birds do! We traveled an additional 6 hours south to Rio Grande. This took place the following day.

Now let me go back just a couple of hours. My aunt Erika called her mom and asked about my grandfather. They went back and forth for several hours and we all thought the plans were resolved. All of us had the impression that by the time we got to Rio Grande the next day my stubborn grandfather would be there. OH! One SMALL detail I forgot to mention; he had no idea I was there. I was the big surprise.

Okay now; as we depart from my Aunt’s house around 9ish or so (maybe later), everything seems to be working out as planned. Mid way my aunt calls her mother and asks if my grandfather is there. To all avail the man decides he doesn’t feel like going! This is 3 hours into our drive!! What in the world! I closed my eyes and prayed. “Lord I don’t know the plans you have for us, but can you at least tell me if this trip is supposed to be about me learning more patients!?!?” This is when I truly understood the meaning of “Prayers are Bi-polar”. My aunt Petra wasn’t happy about it either. I couldn’t tell you what my aunt Erika thought because HELLLOOO I just met her. At some point during the remaining 3 hours my grandfather decided he wasn’t coming to Rio Grande. He no longer felt like it. After all, my aunt (remember he had no idea I was there) traveled from CA to see him. During all this chaos I continued to read the bible and pray. Besides “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”!

Fast forwarding a bit; we arrive and my grandfather is nowhere to be found. My aunt Petra decides that hey, “if he doesn’t show up tonight we’re going back to Houston and that’s it!” So okay, she was a little mad. Me; well hey I got a chance to meet family and also get a glimpse of my dad’s childhood. I was okay with whatever came up.

Let me explain a little of my grandfather’s wife before I go on. The woman that I knew as my grandfather died 20 years ago. She was my grandmother. Of course, my grandpa’s first wife died when she was 23. She was the mom to my dad and his siblings. Obviously I never had the chance to meet her. My grandmother was Tencha. You know I always hated that name! I’m sorry but I still do! As I was saying, man I have a hard time staying on one topic. SHEESH!! So the lady that my grandfather is married to, well her name is Marina. If you see that name you now know who I’m talking about. Marina and my grandpa had a daughter named Erika. I’ve already mentioned her name several times. Now I’ve really lost myself.

I must read what I wrote and continue with my story…..reading….still reading…ahh, okay back on track! Marina called my grandfather and told him what my Tia (means Aunt) Petra said. That is when he decided, “Okay I’ll go”. Marina had to drive 1.5 hours into Mexico and my grandfather drove 2 back to Rio Grande. Mind you he said he couldn’t see well at night. Yes he finally caved but not one bit of him was happy about it all. UNTIL…he arrived at the house. I was in the room where I couldn’t be seen. Once I got the cue to come out; I did. He stared for what seemed like an eternity and than caressed my face. He told me how much I looked like my dad and he was actually happy to see me. This coming from my grandfather; was like WOW!!! We were lucky if he even decided to say hi to us when we were little. I totally took advantage of those words. It was nice to see him and I do think the feeling was mutual. He’s in good health and looks exactly the same as he did some teen years ago. That picture above is him sitting in the living room in Rio Grande. I’ve been praying for his salvation daily. He, himself, told me he isn’t saved. I believe that the Lord is still giving him sometime. I look forward to the day that he calls us and says he has accepted Christ as his personal savior. We ate tacos that night. He talked about my dad; me too. It was nice to hear that he still thinks about his son…I really miss my father.

I feel like I was actually able to forgive my grandfather for not being there when dad died. He’s never been a loving man, but I saw something different…stay tuned….

Oh yeah we didn't go to bed till 2ish in the am..

Continuing...

Early the next morning…

We got to the airport at 6am. Yep that only means I slept maybe 3 hours at most. Surprisingly I wasn’t tired. Perhaps it was because I was sort of excited to see my grandfather. We arrive at Hobby Airport at 1pm. I think I had déjà vu again. For some reason what played out that afternoon reminded me of what had happened in Japan when family came to visit. HA!

My aunt was a bit exhausted and wasn’t feeling well when we landed. I think she may have been dehydrated but who knows. Anyway, we were looking for the people that were picking us up. Mind you; I had never met them before so I had no idea who I was looking for. My aunt gave me a description of them but really, when you give a description of a young Mexican with long hair in a state where half the state is Mexican; how do you expect for me to know who they are?! LOL!!! I laughed at my aunt and she realized what she said, so we then laughed together.

We were outside looking for 2 women looking for us (in a white SUV). We’d sit inside staring at all the Mexicans walking by us wondering. After about an hour I began to get a little frustrated. As some people know I lack LOTS of patience, you can only imagine how I was feeling.

I noticed an older lady and a younger girl walking by numerous times. I even stared at them wondering who they were (while we were sitting). When we were outside; I would stare at this BLACK SUV. Matter of fact they even creped me out and I think visa versa! The two in the front were men. I didn’t care I was determined to find the people who were suppose to pick us up!

About a 1 hour and 15 minutes went by and my aunt noticed the woman in which she, my uncle and my dad played with. The same lady I saw walk by at 7 times for the past hour… NOT COOL!!! Then my aunt saw her sister (my aunt obviously). These women were the same women that walked past us over and over again.

Now it was off the white SUV that was black mind you. The same vehicle that I stared at for 10 minutes straight!! LOL!!! UGH I love when this happens to me. It ends up being hilarious at the end!

My grandfather was supposed to show up in Houston where we landed but he wasn’t there. We were hurt but I was content because I got to hear some amazing stories about my daddy. We ate showered and we were merry. I already missed my family at this point…

I met my aunt and her husband, her name is Ericka. I met one of the women that played with my dad when they were young. What a great tiring night it was. God was good to us that day. I now have a larger family on my dad’s side!!


She's my aunt. It sounds odd because she's younger then me.

Rosa; the lady my dad, uncle, aunt played with as kids. She was making some tortillas. I will defiantly keep in touch with these women!

One of many long days..

I guess I shouldn’t be repeating myself again but I shall. Only this time I haven’t posted because I was away from home and the computer was scarce. I’m going to post this daily and will include one or two photos as well.

As many know I took a trip to see my grandfather. For some reason there were a handful of people who thought that my grandfather was not in good health. Perhaps he’s not and it’s only been because I haven’t seen him in years. It was bitter sweet as you are about to read. Now let’s begin.

The first day I left here, I was already missing the family. It was only the second time I had left my children behind, one difference though; is that this was for 10 days and I was completely out of the state, even country.

Here’s what took place the day of my departure. I left here in the am. Funny as it seems, we flew north and not west. My destination was to head to CA not NC. Good ‘ol hurricane Ida decided that she wanted to make a landing here so we had no choice but to make a SMALL detour. The airline I was flying with made a call asking all passengers to go to the desk. They were fortunate enough to get a head count of all passengers. So they boarded us (about) 1 hour before our initial flight. We took off about 15 minutes after. There was no turbulence, the flight was awesome! Since we left early that only meant that I would be spending 4.5 hours at the airport before being able to fly to the next airport. By the way, they weren’t sure what flight I’d be catching, after all we did have to take a detour.

I think, no, I know! The Lord had his plans for me and one of them was reinforce patience. While in Charlotte I ate at Chili’s and as I ate I was reading my bible. People walked by and stared as if I was some sort of freak. Matter of fact, some passengers were seated at the table next me. They were the same people whom sat a few rows back cursing up a storm. Do you know they never even cursed while sitting at the table next me?! I was pretty happy about it as you can tell.
Moving on to the next airport; Phoenix AZ it is! I had a short layover; I’d like to say about 1 hour or so. All was smooth and I did get a small chance to feel the dessert heat. Who cares though, because the skies are clear there! As I boarded for the next flight to San Fran I began to pray for a safe flight and for the protection of all passengers.

I arrived in San Fran at 10pm and now needed to head south to Fresno. It was all said and done at 2am when I was finally able to lay down. For 3 hours…….Stay tuned!!

My daughter.

Isn’t it amazing how our children are often content with the smallest things? Crystal’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks. The only thing my baby wants is a very pretty cake for her birthday. It’s a gorgeous cake and man I wish I could afford getting her one for a descent price.
Anyway I thought I’d attach the picture; the only thing is I wouldn’t want twilight written on it. Oh well she can’t have it as a gift but here’s a picture anyway.

This place; well it's OUR HOME.

Life has been amazingly amazing for us! Our goals seem to be headed it the right direction; one bill paid and working on paying our second one off soon.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Mike and I were talking to a friend, who also lives in a trailer. We were talking about life in our “homes” and I couldn’t help but to ask the big question.

“So Jessica, were you lost on what to call your home, or for that matter “embarrassed?””, I wondered. I don’t think those were my exact words but close enough. Give me a break it was 2 weeks ago okay?! Lol.

Her feelings about it were similar to mine. I had no idea what I should call this place (in the beginning). It drove me nuts! Let’s not mention the fact that I wasn’t sure if I wanted anyone to know where we stayed. My answer varied to something like this, “We live down the street from the church”, then found myself quickly changing the subject.

It’s changed. My answer now is we live at the RV Park down from our church. We are saving money and have paid almost 2 of our bills in 2.5 months! My family is much closer and I have the opportunity to acknowledge the good things my kids do VS. the negative.

Oh and what do we call this place; well the answer is….We call this place our home. This friend, is our home. We love it! Matter of fact, we’ve even had friends over. We’ve had 9 people in the house at once. The laughs echoed through here as if it was a mansion.

Funny as it seem I think some people probably already thought they would get an email or call from me saying how frustrated I was living in a confined place with our 3 children and 2 dogs. Well guess what?! I’m happy!
Today I woke up to this HUGE feeling of relief. My kids are awesome and my husband well he’s the bestest!

My advice to anyone who is thinking about it: Stop thinking and just get up and do it! You will be blessed.
We love you all!

It's been so long.

So I'll take it this route and let you know what we've been up to.

"The show."

Create a free slideshow with Picnik!

Homeschooled or schooler?

">

A time of reflection

I haven’t written because it’s been one thing after another. I ended up with a nice cold in which I couldn’t beat. Good thing is I was able to beat off another sickness with my Activate. I must say I LOVE my immune booster!

Let’s see here; as most know I was taking classes per distance learning. Well we’re on the last week right now and all my finals are due in by Friday. I should be slightly worried but honestly I care less. Sounds bad doesn’t it? It’s only because I find these classes relatively easy.

I have come to the conclusion that I will not be taking any more classes with University of Phoenix. I have decided to wait till the spring to enroll with Southwestern University; continuing distance learning.

Second conclusion, is that I have to take some anti-depression and anxiety pills. For the first time in my life I have felt panic attacks and boy does it feel awful. They are indescribable. I don’t quite understand where they have come from. I assume that it stems from all the stresses in my life, not just recent ones. For that reason they recommended that I seek consoling. I have to see someone twice a week. I am hesitatent and am not thrilled about having to do any of three but I’ll give it a shot (I have no choice).

For the first time in my life I have felt so loved and a part of a huge family. Everyone here has been awesome. The support network here has been wonderful. So many people are often stepping in to help someone/s in need. I have never seen so much love in one little town.

My family and I have met so many beautiful people. I have been fortunate to meet women from the elders at the church to the young mothers at the Co-op (homeschool group). The Clinic has shown me a part of the Navy that I have not seen before. I guess that happens when 80% of them have at some point in their careers been attached to the Marines. One of the best parts is that with each duty station you tend leave with some of the best friendships. Boy, have I left with some great friends.

Here it is 14 years and 20+ moves and I still have friends that I met in 29 Palms. Man have they changed! I’ve seen spiritual growth in some. One friend’s son has a special place in my heart. He’s playing football now! Oh and not to mention he has facial hair! What in the world happened to my little baby?! So his mom tells me that I too have left a mark in hers and his heart. I couldn’t tell you what I’ve done to fill a spot there but whatever it may be I know I will always carry that family with me where ever I may go.

I wonder if she knows who she is. If she does, I hope to see them soon! I miss you guys. By the way that was 13 years ago. So many relationships have been built because of the military. How blessed I’ve been to have such great friends.
Life in the trailer has been wonderful! You know it only takes 10 minutes to clean house? Take that my friends! Oh and not much can be cooked in the house, so everything is healthy! Oh yeah, second base! Let’s not mention that our rent is $300, triple score! All bases loaded my friend! Next best thing; our family has become much stronger and we are working as a team! HOMERUN!!!!!

We’ve been living in this home for one month now and have found many ways of still having our space. This is only the beginning. Seriously if you haven’t done this you should. If you do, don’t go in being negative about it or it will get you nowhere.
Okay time to reflect on what’s happened in the past week. I’ll do it in bullet form.
• Not a penny to our name
• Our frig died and so did all the food in it.
• I had a break down and now taking meds
• The awning broke
• Mike is leaving to Afghanistan for 1 year
• Anthony arrived..
• We got paid! Paid half of one bill and still have money left!!!!
• God has been good to us!!!

I do have more to say but I’m going to stop there because I’m sure you’re tired of reading.

A Call of Anguish

One of our youth shared this with the youth group last evening. This is a powerful message. It truly has touched my heart.

">

Insane in the membranes

Aside from a recent post I have found myself listening to the voices of others. Often I’ve known the answer but still felt a need to hear it from the box of mankind. I sit there in agreement with what they tell me, clearly a confirmation of what I already knew. Still, I needed to hear it.

Often times in the past, I helped those in need, but when it was our time I refused it. I just didn’t need it that bad. I knew someone else was in a worse position then we were. Oh how the tables have turned. You know what amazes me the most? We have such a loving Heavenly Father! He understands the needs of our family. The thing was that I didn’t fully give my needs to him. I wasn’t allowing others to blessed by helping us; a family currently in need. WOW, we’re a family a need… Shocking isn’t it?! I never thought I would hear myself say that about…US.

This morning and I once again found myself reevaluating our goals, I read this quote:

“Oh money, money, money, I’m not necessarily one of those who thinks thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.”

-Ogden Nash

My jaw dropped! I saw this and I was like Joey. WHOOOOAAA!!! It made sense. It really did. I sat with the family and I asked them to take a closer look at this. I asked them some questions.

1. What is it that you want this very second?
2. What is it that you want in a month?
3. What am I (mom) doing wrong?
4. What do you hope to see from all this?

The answers were clear. The kids and Mike said that I stressed too much about money. Funny thing is, is that they answered each question with what they wanted; worldly things.
Here I was answering questions of what I hope to give them. Like I wish I could supply you with this and that and so forth. We realized that we really weren’t working together. Instead we were doing the inevitable. We were asking for what we don’t have. We created a vicious circle that wasn’t helping anyone. I’m stressing which in turn makes them stress. How do we stop it? Well let’s stop fighting about what we don’t have and enjoy what the Lord has supplied us with at the moment. Who cares if we don’t have food the next day?! We’ll get some. Who cares if gas can barely get us to church and back? We’ll get gas. The sister’s at the church, sisters with the homeschool, those that we have met within our neighborhoods have all been praying for us, and to you I’ve been thankful. Lee and the rest of my beautiful friends have been an absolute blessing as well.
Friday I couldn’t deal anymore. I had to go to the clinic (without Mike’s knowledge). They say I’m suffering from high levels of anxiety and I’m clinically depressed. I’m taking meds. Do I want to though? NO way!!
I was telling a dear friend last evening that I feel Satan won. She gave me some words of encouragement that made me feel a little better.
I have also learned that I need to allow others to feel blessed by helping us. Well I have to say this. I don’t know why but if you ask I WILL always say we don’t need it. It’s just best if you just do it. I am so sorry that this is a point in our lives that nothing is going right. I feel…so awful….There is no better words for this…

Is God dancing on your potato chips?

I got this from one of many beautiful women I know.
Thank you Venita!


IS GOD DANCING ON YOUR POTATO CHIPS?

Not too long ago I had "one of those days." I was feeling pressure from a

writing deadline. I had company arriving in a couple days and the toilet

was clogged. I went to the bank, and the trainee teller processing my

deposit had to start over three times. I swung by the supermarket to pick

up a few things and the lines were serpentine. By the time I got home, I

was frazzled and sweaty and in a hurry to get something on the table for

dinner.

Deciding on Campbell 's Cream of Mushroom soup, I grabbed a can opener,

cranked open the can, then remembered I had forgotten to buy milk at the

store. Nix the soup idea. Setting the can aside, I went to plan B, which

was leftover baked beans. I grabbed the Tupperware container from the

fridge, popped the seal, took a look and groaned. My husband isn't a

picky eater, but even HE won't eat baked beans that look like

caterpillars.

Really frustrated now, I decided on a menu that promised to be as

foolproof as it is nutrition-free: hot dogs and potato chips. Retrieving

a brand new bag of chips from the cupboard, I grabbed the cellophane and

gave a hearty pull. The bag didn't open. I tried again. Nothing happened.

I took a breath, doubled my muscle, and gave the bag a hearty wrestle.

With a loud pop, the cellophane suddenly gave way, ripping wide from top

to bottom. Chips flew sky high. I was left holding the bag, and it was

empty.

It was the final straw. I let out a blood curdling scream. "I CAN'T TAKE

IT ANYMORE!" My husband heard my unorthodox cry for help. Within minutes

he was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, where he surveyed the

damage: an opened can of soup, melting groceries, moldy baked beans, and

one quivering wife standing ankle deep in potato chips. My husband did

the most helpful thing he could think of at the moment. He took a flying

leap, landing flat-footed in the pile of chips. And then he began to

stomp and dance and twirl, grinding those chips into my linoleum in the

process!

I stared. I fumed. Pretty soon I was working to stifle a smile.

Eventually I had to laugh. And finally I decided to join him. I, too,

took a leap onto the chips. And then I danced. Now I'll be the first to

admit that my husband's response wasn't the one I was looking for. But

the truth is, it was exactly what I needed. I didn't need a cleanup crew

as much as I needed an attitude adjustment, and the laughter from that

rather funky moment provided just that.

So now I have a question for you, and it's simply this: Has God ever

stomped on your chips? I know that, in my life, there have been plenty of

times when I've gotten myself into frustrating situations and I've cried

out for help, all the while hoping God would show up with a celestial

broom and clean up the mess.

What often happens instead is that God dances on my chips, answering my

prayer in a completely different manner than I had expected, but in the

manner that is best for me after all. Sometimes I can see right away that

God's response was the best one after all. Sometimes I have to wait weeks

or months before I begin to understand how and why God answered a

particular prayer the way He did. There are even some situations that,

years later, I'm still trying to understand. I figure God will fill me in

sooner or later, either this side of Heaven or beyond.

Do I trust Him? Even when He's answering my prayers in a way that is

completely different from my expectations? Even when He's dancing and

stomping instead of sweeping and mopping:? Can I embrace what He's

offering? Can I let His joy adjust my attitude? Am I going to stand on

the sidelines and sulk, or am I willing to learn the steps of the dance

He's dancin' with my needs in mind? I'll be honest with you: Sometimes I

sulk. Sometimes I dance. I'm working on doing more of the latter than the

former. I guess the older I get the more I realize that He really does

know what He's doing. He loves me and I can trust Him. Even when the

chips are down.

Author Unknown

That little step back.

"Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth" (Psalm 46:10).

My child, allow me to make your path. I am here waiting for you. Believe in me and I will guide your path. You are my lamb and I know your call. Put faith in me child for I am the Lord......

What else am I to do...

Okay okay I’ll admit it already!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s a story I’d like to share. In 29 Palms CA I had a cat named Shadow. We got her from my sister when she was a baby. One day we noticed she was pregnant. Well after being a good future mom she gave birth to 5 beautiful kittens. Shadow was petite even during her pregnancy.

She was such a loving momma that she often chose not to eat in order to keep her babies bellies full. It was to point that I had to pay for an ER surgery. The Vet told me that I needed to be sure she ate or the next time she could die. My ex-husband was deployed at the time. So I had to endure the pain of watching her starve herself at the time Crys and Mikey would keep the babies occupied. Lol. They were just babies themselves. Anyway, Shadow started to eat better. Within a week she back to her old ways. This time there was no saving this momma. We had no choice but to take her in so that they can put her to sleep. She sacrificed her health for the health of her “children”; that was the worse, yet most loving thing a mom could ever do for her children.

Now back to us. We’re broke. I can’t hardly drive anywhere because all we have 9 dollars. There is only 37 miles left on the truck that I need to conserve till Tuesday. I have clothes to wash but can’t. In case I need to buy more bread or milk. I’ve been broke before, but now I have kids. I feel horrible that I can’t supply for my children. I don’t like it, actually I hate it! I HATE IT!!!

I have had to resort to what Shadow had to do for her babies. I have forced myself to not be hungry so that I can ration the food. My kids are by no means going hungry because I will not allow that. I’m not sleeping well. I’m constantly an emotional wreck. I have put my best foot forward and have been working so hard to get enrollments so that I can have a check on Tuesday. I have even felt like pleading at times but have controlled that feeling. I’ve even wanted to say, “I don’t care if you cancel at 3 months, just please, please, help me. I don’t know what to do anymore”. Yes that is what I am very close to doing. I’ve even gone to old customers and have asked for referrals. So I’m pleading here. Someone please help. Please help me. Please help our family. We need the money…

The site you can look at is www.melaleuca.com

I promise it will benefit you too. If you can help please email me at eliaguilarwith3@yahoo.com

This is sad for me because we’re a military family and we’re not finding ends meet. I keep saying to myself just 3 more weeks Lisa, just 3 more weeks. We’ll be okay. Last week was 4 now it’s 3. The time is getting shorter and I know this. It’s just that 3 weeks seems more like 3 years right now.

I am so sorry…

Hey you up there...

I’m glad I have a friend like you. You have sat there and listened to me when no one else has. You have done for me what no one else could ever do. You have given me more than anyone else could ever give me. To you my best friend, I am thankful.

I like it slow. The kids are at “Desire 09”, Sierra is sitting next to me turning the pages to a book. Mike is at the clinic studying for his E-6 exam. Which by the way; is my prayer request. He must pass it in order to pick up rank (promoted). I hear my dogs snoring. The birds are chirping outside. The traffic going by on the main road and my fingers typing to my heart’s content.

I’ve had a few good things said to me today. Maybe I’m a little humble. I’m not sure. Recently I have let my heart speak for me. It’s been working like this; my heart speaks to my brain, my brain to my tongue and my tongue delivers the message.

A dear friend in whom I call step-sis laughed at me (maybe with me) her reason was my message on the voicemail. I’ve had a few comments on it. I guess it’s worth listening to. Perhaps I’ll make someone’s day. Perhaps I’ll make my day.

I know I’m rambling, but I kind of like it. This am wasn’t the best for me. It was actually pretty bad. There was something I had to do. I had to rebuke Satan. I won’t go into full details but this morning I was in the truck and I had to say out loud, “Satan you better back off because with Jesus I will NOT be defeated!!!” If I’m correct those were the only words I said. Oh and I said that for at least 10 minutes until I was able to leave all the problems behind. Now ask yourself this, do you think it worked?

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Pardon me as some very great people stopped by. I have now forgotten where I was going with everything. I’ll come back another day….

Pictures

uhh oh.

You would not believe all the good news on this side of town. I would tell you but don’t have much time. I also need to figure out how to put a slide show on here. If you know how can you leave me a comment on how to do it? I will, by the am, get to this an update you all on what has been taken place in our lives the past week. I’m sure it bound to blow your minds!!!