2011; what to say about it? Lots happened last year. Let’s do a year in review.
I was finally able to open up about a few things of the past. I was set free! By doing so; I released a lot of anger that had been bottled up for years. I have thanked God everyday for all that he has done in my life, even when I turned my back on him.
I am not innocent; I am a human being that makes mistakes, sometimes often. I am not perfect but made in the image of Christ. I am not the most beautiful woman in the world, but he loves me with my flaws. I am a mom and a military wife. I raised my kids alone for eight months. I made mistakes. I have learned to admit to them which make it perfectly okay for others not to enjoy/like me or my company. I am not asking for your judgment but only for the judgment of the one who so graciously gave his life for me; and you.
Our family has lost some friends this past year, some in death while others it was just time to say good bye. We think of them often. Quick lesson; NEVER EVER speak ill of those that see you differently. It is not your place. Do not let what they say control you. It is not their place. Instead love these people with all your heart. As Jesus has done so to us.
My husband deployed. I saw and felt the pain of others when they were hurting. I learned to trust God with EVERY aspect of my heart; meaning patience. I learned to trust women and to become friends with them. They are not all alike. I learned that being a tom boy didn’t make me ugly but made me, well, me.
We have learned that we may not always fit in where ever we go, but we can still be loved and thought of.
I spent a week in the hospital. Friends became family. They came together and did all that they could. My husband came home on emergency leave and the Lord blessed us with a soon to be here babe.
My heart grew closer to Christ, more then it has ever been before. I sought consoling, from the GREATEST counselor I know! He helped me get through all the obstacles I had to face and may continue to face.
One thing has been different, I’m 6 months pregnant. For five months I had morning sickness; day and night. I still get it, just not so bad. Once that seemed to have subsided some I started getting pretty swollen. I have other symptoms. Here is my list; abdominal pain, faint, fatigue, pale, and dizziness. Sometimes it comes on out of the blue. You’re question must be, “Have you seen a Dr.?”, my answer is no. I see him this week.
For these reasons, I have felt so sad because honestly I have yet to enjoy being pregnant. Matter of fact, I do not want to have another one. I get moody, grouchy, irritable, whatever you want to call it. My activities have been put to a minimal because I refuse to risk my babies’ health.
My goals this year, devote myself (more then ever) to Christ. Become submissive to him. Be a good example to myself, my children and to others. Learn to pray without ceasing, forgiving, loving others as I should love myself, FORGIVING, and again sharing a little more about me, to help me heal in other aspects of my life.
The relationships that have been built here in this small town will not fade. All of what I have mentioned have been relationships; relationships in my life.
I am welcoming the new year with strong grip on my fathers hand.
