Okay Lord here I am.
I'm having a horrible day. I can't think straight, I'm lost, confused, lonely, and in a complete stage of depression. You know as to why I'm here. I need not share the details out loud. My husband had to leave; for a short time. I wish he didn't go. I'm sitting here in tears for the... who knows how many times today. Please dear God help me to get through this. I know I have great friends here but I'm not sure that they can help me right now. It's you that I need. I ask to hear your voice, I plead for your help. I need you right now God. Help me to become strong. Give me the strength that I need. Give me peace of mind. Please Heavenly Father; I don't know how much more I can take.
It's funny how you send me a message and sometimes I have no idea it's for me. I heard this song called "Trading My Sorrows" 3ish times this week. Every time that I have needed you this song came up. I can't ask "why Lord" because I know why. At least I think I do. I feel stuck. In a deep hole. Am I really suppose to feel this way. I'm suppose to be an example for a small number of people yet I can't get a grip on myself. Why does this short time seem like a life time, when it's only 4.5 weeks. why am I going crazy. Why do I feel so torn apart; so alone? I have you and you are the ears that I hope to be one day. Help me to recover. Please Lord, please....
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
A converstaion with God...
A minister passing through his church
in the middle of the day,
decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.
Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle.
The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in quite a while.
His shirt was kinda shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed.
The man knelt, he bowed his head,
then rose and walked away..
In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap.
Each time he knelt just for a moment,
a lunch pail in his lap..
Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear.
He decided to stop the man and ask him,
'What are you doing here?'
The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
for finding strength and power.
'I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
this is kinda
what I say:
'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN TODAY.'
The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
to come and pray just anytime
Time to go, Jim smiled, said 'Thanks.'
He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar,
he'd never done it before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:
'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY.'
Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.
At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.
The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.
The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,
when no flowers, calls or cards came, Not a visitor he had.
The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared..
He had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;
'the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that He's in here all the while
Everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:
'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS CHECKING IN TODAY.'
in the middle of the day,
decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.
Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle.
The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in quite a while.
His shirt was kinda shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed.
The man knelt, he bowed his head,
then rose and walked away..
In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap.
Each time he knelt just for a moment,
a lunch pail in his lap..
Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear.
He decided to stop the man and ask him,
'What are you doing here?'
The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
for finding strength and power.
'I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
this is kinda
what I say:
'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN TODAY.'
The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
to come and pray just anytime
Time to go, Jim smiled, said 'Thanks.'
He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar,
he'd never done it before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:
'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY.'
Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.
At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.
The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.
The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,
when no flowers, calls or cards came, Not a visitor he had.
The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared..
He had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;
'the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that He's in here all the while
Everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:
'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS CHECKING IN TODAY.'
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I'm forgiven.
This is a special blog. As some may have read a couple of postings ago, there was a special prayer request that went out. That prayer request still exists. I thought I knew what I wanted to say but once I started typing I became lost for words.
We have all made mistakes. Some more then others. We have punished ourselves in ways unimaginable to man. And some not at all. Yes we have hurt people. I know I have. I know I've been hurt from people as well.
It's difficult to face those who have hurt you. Parents, spouses, your children, friends, and even God. We wonder why they can do this to us. At times we frequently ask ourselves "'why me Lord?' 'Why have people chosen to hurt me so bad?'". (Palms 139) Is there not one person that has ever gone through life not asking themselves that?
I have to admit it's hard going through relationships and not questioning what people's motives are. Sometimes you run into those who you know will come and go. Those that come into your life to only point out the wrong in you even when the wrong doesn't exist. Then you have some who you know you want to have a relationship with but you feel the pain that they have. You have others that no matter what they do or how they hurt you, you can't seem to stop loving them. But through out it all, the most important lesson you learn is to forgive one another. At times you'll find the party not so forgiving and that's okay too. You can't change their thinking but it doesn't mean that you should not show them love or be less forgiving. (Acts 13:38)
How do so many of us try and pull the plank out of someone else's eye when a log is stuck in our own eye? (Matthew 7:1-5) Can you imagine the pain that we must endure when we face ourselves in the mirror?
Brittany; you are no different from me or anyone else. I forgave you long before you knew I knew. I know that I'm not the only one. How can I be the one to tell you what you have done wrong; when even now I have made mistakes. In my marriage, in raising my children, and in other relationships in my life. I have forgiven you; I have forgiven my husband, I have forgiven all those who have done me wrong. Why you may ask? Well because I know that God allowed his son to die for us. His son was laid on the cross with each and every one of our sins. He felt all our sins before we even knew they existed. Our father loved and still loves us unconditionally. Who am I to do the opposite for a man whom sacrificed his life for mine? He never left us and he has no plans on it. (Hebrews 13:5).
A quick highlight, Brittany did not have a sister who passed away. BUT who cares! You are forgiven by me!! AND most importantly you are forgiven our Lord Jesus Christ!!!!!!! Isn't that awesome! He forgave you and me and them before we even asked him for forgiveness. We support you Brittany. My family is praying for you.
I look forward to getting to know Brittany Cardinale and her family. We love you for you! Friends, family, and strangers to Brittany, let's show her that we forgive her and continue to pray for her. God is on our side!
We love you Brittany and starting with me; I forgive you!!!!!!!
We have all made mistakes. Some more then others. We have punished ourselves in ways unimaginable to man. And some not at all. Yes we have hurt people. I know I have. I know I've been hurt from people as well.
It's difficult to face those who have hurt you. Parents, spouses, your children, friends, and even God. We wonder why they can do this to us. At times we frequently ask ourselves "'why me Lord?' 'Why have people chosen to hurt me so bad?'". (Palms 139) Is there not one person that has ever gone through life not asking themselves that?
I have to admit it's hard going through relationships and not questioning what people's motives are. Sometimes you run into those who you know will come and go. Those that come into your life to only point out the wrong in you even when the wrong doesn't exist. Then you have some who you know you want to have a relationship with but you feel the pain that they have. You have others that no matter what they do or how they hurt you, you can't seem to stop loving them. But through out it all, the most important lesson you learn is to forgive one another. At times you'll find the party not so forgiving and that's okay too. You can't change their thinking but it doesn't mean that you should not show them love or be less forgiving. (Acts 13:38)
How do so many of us try and pull the plank out of someone else's eye when a log is stuck in our own eye? (Matthew 7:1-5) Can you imagine the pain that we must endure when we face ourselves in the mirror?
Brittany; you are no different from me or anyone else. I forgave you long before you knew I knew. I know that I'm not the only one. How can I be the one to tell you what you have done wrong; when even now I have made mistakes. In my marriage, in raising my children, and in other relationships in my life. I have forgiven you; I have forgiven my husband, I have forgiven all those who have done me wrong. Why you may ask? Well because I know that God allowed his son to die for us. His son was laid on the cross with each and every one of our sins. He felt all our sins before we even knew they existed. Our father loved and still loves us unconditionally. Who am I to do the opposite for a man whom sacrificed his life for mine? He never left us and he has no plans on it. (Hebrews 13:5).
A quick highlight, Brittany did not have a sister who passed away. BUT who cares! You are forgiven by me!! AND most importantly you are forgiven our Lord Jesus Christ!!!!!!! Isn't that awesome! He forgave you and me and them before we even asked him for forgiveness. We support you Brittany. My family is praying for you.
I look forward to getting to know Brittany Cardinale and her family. We love you for you! Friends, family, and strangers to Brittany, let's show her that we forgive her and continue to pray for her. God is on our side!
We love you Brittany and starting with me; I forgive you!!!!!!!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
A Prayer For Britt'knee
Today was a rough day. One of the kids in our church lost her sister. Her sister passed away in a car accident. It has been rough. It feels like Britt is my daughter and I feel every bit of pain that she is feeling. I don’t know how to comfort her, much less even what to say. I know that “I’m sorry” isn’t good enough and honestly; it’s not something I wanted to hear when my dad passed away.
I’ve once again been proven that our church family is beyond anything I could have ever expected. Their love is shining through. They have been in and out of my house all day to show her that we are there for her.
Through all of the support for this young lady, I still feel helpless on what to say or do. Despite it all, we have been able to turn the mood into laughter and sometimes tears, when the good and bad times have come through out the day.
I’ve once again been proven that our church family is beyond anything I could have ever expected. Their love is shining through. They have been in and out of my house all day to show her that we are there for her.
Through all of the support for this young lady, I still feel helpless on what to say or do. Despite it all, we have been able to turn the mood into laughter and sometimes tears, when the good and bad times have come through out the day.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Smiling at the wonders the Lord has given me.
Right now I'm listening to the sounds of laughter and Karaoke mixed in together. My son is so happy right now. I can't help but to sit here with a smile on my face. Wow! The Lord has truly blessed Mike and I with a beautiful family. His grin is from ear to ear. He doesn't care that he's not on tune, or that his throat hurts. Matter of fact he has no care in the world right now.
They have even decided to dedicate a song to me. La Bamba!! Imagine that?! One white chick and my son singing a Spanish song to me...HAHAHA!! I can't help but to laugh at these kids.
Cici is sleeping. She's in bed and looks so angelic. Sis is listening to Christian music and taking it easy in her room.
I can't help but to sit here and laugh at these kids singing in Spanish! LOL!!!
As I listen to them and I blog, I'm also chatting with the greatest friend and sister! I ran into some pictures a few days ago of her and I singing in the church we grew up in. For a second I missed my childhood and for some time I missed her. How I wish I could see them again. I want to go out to eat with her and D and watch people act silly around us. That was a blast! The best part was that Mike was happy being there!!
Boy, do I miss my husband. I wish I could sit here with him and laugh at these kids, I miss you my love. What a great night it's been.
Bec and D I miss you guys!!! I can't wait till we see each other again! We'll need to take lots of pictures this next time. We're women now!! I love you all!!
They have even decided to dedicate a song to me. La Bamba!! Imagine that?! One white chick and my son singing a Spanish song to me...HAHAHA!! I can't help but to laugh at these kids.
Cici is sleeping. She's in bed and looks so angelic. Sis is listening to Christian music and taking it easy in her room.
I can't help but to sit here and laugh at these kids singing in Spanish! LOL!!!
As I listen to them and I blog, I'm also chatting with the greatest friend and sister! I ran into some pictures a few days ago of her and I singing in the church we grew up in. For a second I missed my childhood and for some time I missed her. How I wish I could see them again. I want to go out to eat with her and D and watch people act silly around us. That was a blast! The best part was that Mike was happy being there!!
Boy, do I miss my husband. I wish I could sit here with him and laugh at these kids, I miss you my love. What a great night it's been.
Bec and D I miss you guys!!! I can't wait till we see each other again! We'll need to take lots of pictures this next time. We're women now!! I love you all!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
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