On a footnote...

  Random thoughts and sayings:

      My little man is 16 weeks old today. The time has flown by so quickly. He rolls from his tummy to his back now. His first roll over was the first of the month. He is having some trouble breathing at times. I know that God is our healer and I am too blessed to be stressed. One of the young adults is suppose to take pictures of the kids but our schedules don't meet. The meaning of the name David is beloved. My baby has a smile that brings out the best in people.

      I was told last week that I can no longer have kids.Yes I'm laying it out. I was afraid, hurt, broken hearted, confused, wish I would have done something different, and then had to tell the family. Only three people outside the family in this town knew. I asked for some prayers that the final decision would be the right choice. Some people may be saying "finally, she already has enough kids", but my family wasn't complete yet. Still broken hearted. Over the weekend I would get in the shower only to cry out in prayer that if it was by God's will not to have children I wanted to know by last night. Risky, I know. But I think I had to triple check on it. It was confirmed last night. The Lord spoke and I listened. Even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear. He did however, tell me that I do not only have 4 children but that I have more. I couldn't understand what he meant. I asked him, "how Lord? How do I have more then four when I see their existence in my home?". He let me know that I have been a spiritual mom to several kids for the past 17 years. I still can't pinpoint what he meant, but I know that he loves me enough to know what's best for me. He set it in stone while in my mother's womb.

   I may not fully understand this right now but I know that he has comforted me through it all. My husband seems to know that as well. Though tears may shed at times, I still know he loves me so much......