10 years ago today

We were preparing to bury my dad. Our Thanksgiving came with a heavy heart and lots of mourning. My dad passed away on the 17th of November and this past 17th didn't go by unforgotten. It never does. I've heard parents say, "I'd rather go first then to watch my children be buried". I think that's one of the things that helped me get past losing my dad. It would have been devastating had my dad had to see us go. He buried my brother. He did not speak of it for weeks. He really didn't do much. I'm not even sure how exactly he coped with Vincent's death. All I know is that with every Thanksgiving I remember who my dad was and all that he wanted during the holiday seasons. This was his favorite time of year. He'd hold his grandchildren as if it was the last time he'd ever see them. They loved every second of it you know? Not once did he treat them different from the other. He held them for just as long and kissed them the same amount of time, and he told each and every one them how much he loved them.

I'm not sure if my sister recalls but every holiday season my dad would say, " We will not fight or be negative for the next month.". I'd laugh deep down inside because let me tell you sometimes it was NOT easy, but that ever so slightly reminder stuck to me through out the years. I hear myself telling the kids the day before Thanksgiving, "don't be fighting for the holidays, enjoy them".

So even though my dad is not here with us, he still holds a big part during the holiday season. How can I forget such a loving, caring, self motivated, gentle man, whose hands where hairy?!! I had to say that. When we went to church in Kettleman City I use to play with his hair on his hands in church. Sometimes to the point where I remember tangling them...hehehe. He never said a thing.

I miss him so much, but I am so truly thankful for the blessings that God has poured upon us this very day. I have my husband home, my children here and living, and a home covered by the blood of the Lamb. Thank you Lord for all that you have done in my life, even in the times that I tried to push you away. Thank for you guiding me, loving me unconditionally, and forever holding me in your arms. Thank you for all that you have done for me and my family.


PS. Tomorrow is 10 years since we said good bye to my daddy.