On a footnote...

  Random thoughts and sayings:

      My little man is 16 weeks old today. The time has flown by so quickly. He rolls from his tummy to his back now. His first roll over was the first of the month. He is having some trouble breathing at times. I know that God is our healer and I am too blessed to be stressed. One of the young adults is suppose to take pictures of the kids but our schedules don't meet. The meaning of the name David is beloved. My baby has a smile that brings out the best in people.

      I was told last week that I can no longer have kids.Yes I'm laying it out. I was afraid, hurt, broken hearted, confused, wish I would have done something different, and then had to tell the family. Only three people outside the family in this town knew. I asked for some prayers that the final decision would be the right choice. Some people may be saying "finally, she already has enough kids", but my family wasn't complete yet. Still broken hearted. Over the weekend I would get in the shower only to cry out in prayer that if it was by God's will not to have children I wanted to know by last night. Risky, I know. But I think I had to triple check on it. It was confirmed last night. The Lord spoke and I listened. Even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear. He did however, tell me that I do not only have 4 children but that I have more. I couldn't understand what he meant. I asked him, "how Lord? How do I have more then four when I see their existence in my home?". He let me know that I have been a spiritual mom to several kids for the past 17 years. I still can't pinpoint what he meant, but I know that he loves me enough to know what's best for me. He set it in stone while in my mother's womb.

   I may not fully understand this right now but I know that he has comforted me through it all. My husband seems to know that as well. Though tears may shed at times, I still know he loves me so much......

TMI!!!!!!!

We just got back from a short walk. Our walked reminded me of Japan because of the wind chill out. I got down to the bottom of the hill and was working against the wind.

I forgot how tiring that can be and there went my breath. Half of the way I could not catch my breath. That is how it was in Japan; often. Odd as it may seem, I've missed it. Yes really, wind chills are nice because when I walk in the door I can sit on the couch with one of my children and cuddle surrounded by nothing but warmth. Ahh, what a great feeling!

I'm sitting at 16+ weeks. I've had two days of feeling sick and it's not morning sickness (I don't think). Today seems to be a new day and not feeling as bad I have been the past two days. Feels pretty good, but only one problem; I am having no bowel movements what so ever!! This does NOT thrill me. I've eaten apples at night, drank coffee with a stool softener in it, everything, and nothing has worked. This is day who knows how many and it's starting to get just a LITTLE uncomfortable. Any suggestions would be helpful; my preference is the natural way but at this point anything safe for the baby works with me.

At this point in my pregnancy I can still see my toes but they are slowly going into hiding. I have a baby belly that is very noticeable and my face seems to have double in sized. My feet haven't grown much, my hands aren't any different but my face and belly have changed.

I've never noticed the changes on my face before until recently. The pigmentation on my face has changed drastically. Perhaps it's because I've been a tad bit under the weather. My lips are the same color as the rest of me. I have dark circles around my eyes that are not attractive at all.

Sis and I went in to Target the other day. Baby clothes are becoming a bit more, umm, let's just say they are starting to draw me in some. Oh man, so Target has this rocker that they have had for some time. It's growing on to me. I wanted it before but I am REEEEAAAAAALLLLLLYYY wanting it now. I've never had a rocker for me and baby, I just don't understand why I want one now.

I so badly want to talk about the friends of the past, present, and future but I know that's a blog of it's own. I just want you to know that even if we do not speak (often), rarely see other, always around you, you are always in my prayers. You may be upset with me, but I still pray for you.

One more thing, I know this woman. Her looks remind me of my mom. No one knows that she does but her. I just want you to know that I am proud of you and what you have done in your life. I always think and pray for you. I pray that blessings will fall upon you, so many that you don't know what to do them all. I love you my sister.

It's a baby now!

At 16 weeks it has formed from a lentil bean to a baby. S/he is pretty healthy. Doctor said the heart rate is nice and strong and he seems to be doing very well. Time is surely passing us by. In a couple of weeks it will be half over. In 4 weeks we'll know the sex. Crazy isn't it?!

So far all my weight has shifted to my belly and all the normal pregnancy areas. I'm already getting a little swollen. Which has my OB concerned with my thyroid. Plus, I did put on more weight then I should have and I'm not eating as much as I should. Next time I go in I'll have to get that checked. Honestly it doesn't worry me; as long as the baby is healthy.

I'm still having morning sickness; frequently. Quite disappointing to say the least. They had to give me different pills because the first ones where putting me to sleep. Matter of fact, they would knock me out so bad, that I fell asleep in the middle of the fair. I wonder; did anyone take pictures? I know if it were the other way around I would have! Who knows I may be floating around to a bunch of strangers being made fun. All in good humor! I'd do the same!! LOL!!

Today has been one of those days. The kids and I were suppose to go to P'cola. Well we tried anyway but only made it a couple of miles down the road. Cici seems to start to spit up, cry, and unbuckle while on the road. Pretty dangerous right? Well if you don't already know I have no patience for nonsense. I'm a little tired of this game and it is now putting our family in danger of getting in a car wreck. Yes you heard correct, it was pretty close today. Either I'm going to have find a babysitter, not go nowhere, or start spanking until we reach our destination. I'm sorry people but I firmly believe in a good swat to the butt. There is a major difference between beating and disciplining. If you disagree then it is your prerogative and what you feel won't change my mind. Sorry if it sounds rude. It's just my feel on it.

I've got a headache which seems to happen more often then none lately. I think I need to baby it right now....