Morning sickness here, but it's and after thought.

The kids and I made a twin size (sheet) banner today. Our house is sparkly clean. We're waiting with anticipation. No one is sleepy. Time has come to a crawl. The best part is that in 4 hours daddy will be home for a long, long time!!!!! He'll even be here to for the delivery of our fourth baby!! I'm so excited and happy to have my gorgeous husband home.

Pregnancy; So I started bleeding again. This time some of it was fresh. I'll be okay. We're just going to go with the flow. Still lots of sickness and tiredness. I think I really like feeling morning sickness right now. It assures me that baby is growing.

Hey did I mention my husband is coming home?! Pictures will come soon. Thank you to all my friends, family, including church family for supporting us these past 9.5 months! We love you all. The reunion is soon to come!

In Everything Give Thanks

First and far most I want to thank you Lord for answering everyone's prayers. I noticed through out the day that I no longer have the bleeding. However I do intend to keep things at a slow pace until Monday when I can go back to the gym!

Thank you everyone for all your prayers! I believe in the power of prayer that's for sure. We all should. Lord teach me to pray (Luke 11:1).

I felt great this am. Even did some yard work relieving some stress. Man it felt good! Don't worry it was no where near strenuous. All I did was light some leaves on fire. We did quite a bit of house work. My (real) stress relief; a hair cut!

So how do I feel? Well I don't have morning sickness but I do have afternoon, evening, and night sickness. Yep all but "morning sickness". I didn't get a nap in today so I feel sleepy and fat and I'm not even showing yet.

The best news today! The hubby will be home tomorrow night!!! Thank you Lord for keeping him safe while he was away. As of now that's all folks!

The news that everyone knows about!

Mike and I are having our 4th baby. For those that do not know; he came home on emergency leave July 15th. I was put in the hospital for about a week before he arrived, literally right before. While he was home for 2 weeks we managed to get pregnant. Amazing isn't it how God plans all this out?! I was pretty surprised, after all I hadn't been on birth control for about 2.5 years. A huge part of me thought it was no longer going to happen, boy was I wrong.

Here we are at 8 weeks pregnant. Every Tuesday is a new week and different changes. I have decided that on top of highlights I would actually write a (open) journal about how I feel and what my body feels and looks like as this little blessing begins to grow. Obviously that means there is going to be alot to read about.

Let's start by saying this. I'm actually in need of as many prayers as possible. You know a back up and protection for this little lima bean. Currently I'm having some "brown" spotting. I feel okay. I say okay because I am still having morning sickness, tiredness, and feeling bloated. All healthy signs of being pregnant. I know no matter what that this is only God's will and not mine/ours. I'm leaving it in his hands but prayers are VERY welcomed.

Moving on; One question, how can you be hungry and feel the need to vomit all at the same time? So far with all the nausea I've only "puked" once. When I eat my belly fills up pretty fast. With my other three I never did experience mood swings but this time around they are in full swing. Go figure, I have been working on my anger for quite some time, now I'm moody because I'm pregnant! I'm doing what I can to control it though. I'm bloated and I feel like none of my clothes fit me. Funny that they do but as quick as I get full I'm in no mood to wear pants that I have to unbutton while I eat. It's like a Thanksgiving meal every time food enters my mouth!! That's without swallowing too.

The worst part of being pregnant (speaking for myself) is morning sickness. By the way why do they call it that when it last all day and night? The best part is knowing that you and your husband have been given a precious gift from the Lord. You get to feel it grow inside you. A small innocent little life, inside you!

He is student of week for this!!!!

When I was born I had no clothes worn
I wasn’t fat and my head couldn’t fit in a hat.
Later on I turned one
I was my mom’s only son.
One year later I turned two
I wouldn’t be surprised if my first word was “Poo”.
At year three my grandfather passed away
But, he went to meet Jesus so that’s okay.
At year four it wasn’t much of a bore
My sister went to school while I got to sleep in and snore.
At year five I finally went to school
I cried a lot; boy did I look like a fool.
I turned six later on that year
That’s when I had my very first fear (Chucky)
Then comes year seven I was in the second grade
Man, in the second grade I had it all made
Eight years old and moving to Japan
Took a military plane, it was hot and they didn’t even have a fan
Got to Japan, man it was nice, thought it was going to be the best years of my life
Nine years old, one of the best years
Started playing football everyday with my favorite peers
Year ten, biggest birthday I ever had
Everyone was so happy, no one was sad
Few months later we had to move
I’m going to miss Japanese people how they dance and groove
Got here to Milton where it’s nice and hot
Finally to turned to a preteen, I loved it a lot
That same year I did the best thing ever
I got saved, couldn’t of chose anything better
Now I’m 13 still bending on my knee
Still following Jesus because he gave his life for you and me.

By Michael Gonzales Sept. 2010

My Father's Hands

I sought to write about my dad for a week now. Finally I have been given the opportunity. Last week I was sitting in church listening to the word of God being preached. My mind began to wonder. I know the timing was a little off for that but I started to miss my dad. He’s been gone for almost 10 years now. Times passed us by and although it has I remember him like it was only yesterday.

The fondest memory I have of my dad is when I was church as a little girl. I remember holding my dads BIG hands; well they were bigger then mine! His hand was so warm, gentle, hairy, and strong; it was my father’s hands. Thirty plus years and I can’t seem to forget his hands. I even remember some of the lines engraved. They were always so clean. His nails cut short (and even). You know, my dad never had dirty hands. Not even when he worked on our yard.

Anyway, I would sit in church with my hands gripped in his. I was so comforted knowing that my papi was taking care of me, just by holding my hand. He was my daddy. He loved me so much. I was his little girl; just because he held my hand. I remember moments where I would sit there and play with his hairs. I remember even tangling his hair because he had so much (I say this with a gentle laugh). I wonder how he unraveled the mess I made. I know he never shaved his hairy hands. Again, I have this smile. You know what? His fingers were hairy too.

Funny isn’t it? Our family traveled, ate at the finest restaurants (when we ate out), went to the movies (often), ate together, went to church together, and yet the only memory that stands out is my father’s hands. It’s not what he said or the lame jokes he told. I’m sure the things he shared with us stuck through out my life. I see myself at times still interested in wanting to listen to his stories one more time, but nothing is fonder to me then him holding my hand.

I have two girls and one son; so far. I wonder if one day when their father passes (because his time will run out) what memory they will have. Will they remember his smile or the way he sat there enlightened by his children laughing at the silliest things they did? Will he meet his grandchildren one day? Will he have great grandchildren? What will his legacy be?

My dad met his grandchildren, but not all. My daughter remembers him the best (I think). She remembers my dad holding her. That’s it, just being held by her grandpa. He didn’t have to say a word. It was only the love he had for us and even words didn’t matter much in the end.

Of course my dad was pretty smart, NO, MY father was intelligent. Yes that is what he was. I don’t know how many fathers read this. For those who do, do me one favor? Let your children hold your hand every chance you get. Hold them every chance you have them there with you. Love them even at their worst because they may never remember what words came out of your mouth but only how it felt to be loved by their father.

I miss my daddy. I miss his voice, his passion for life, his artist look on Gods incredible creations, his strength, his love, his hands….

For the children young and old, enjoy your father let him hold you one more time. God knows when he’ll call your daddy home. Take advantage…I wish I would have.

For All those who are married/engaged

My husband is currently deployed as most know. Since he's been gone this song has touched my heart in so many different ways. I believe that the Lord placed it in my heart at the right time. I pray for my husband daily and I pray for me too. I now frequently pray for marriages. Not sure if Mike will see this..but I'm holding this song dear to my heart.

Handing them over..

Okay Lord here I am.
I'm having a horrible day. I can't think straight, I'm lost, confused, lonely, and in a complete stage of depression. You know as to why I'm here. I need not share the details out loud. My husband had to leave; for a short time. I wish he didn't go. I'm sitting here in tears for the... who knows how many times today. Please dear God help me to get through this. I know I have great friends here but I'm not sure that they can help me right now. It's you that I need. I ask to hear your voice, I plead for your help. I need you right now God. Help me to become strong. Give me the strength that I need. Give me peace of mind. Please Heavenly Father; I don't know how much more I can take.

It's funny how you send me a message and sometimes I have no idea it's for me. I heard this song called "Trading My Sorrows" 3ish times this week. Every time that I have needed you this song came up. I can't ask "why Lord" because I know why. At least I think I do. I feel stuck. In a deep hole. Am I really suppose to feel this way. I'm suppose to be an example for a small number of people yet I can't get a grip on myself. Why does this short time seem like a life time, when it's only 4.5 weeks. why am I going crazy. Why do I feel so torn apart; so alone? I have you and you are the ears that I hope to be one day. Help me to recover. Please Lord, please....